At my first job I was working

At my first job, I worked at an orange juice factory, but I got canned—I just couldn’t concentrate.

Then I became a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried being a tailor, but I wasn’t suited for it. It was a pretty sew-sew job.

Next, I worked at a coffee shop, but I had to quit because I was tired of the same old grind.

Then I became a chef. I thought it would add some spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.

After that, I worked at a deli, but any way I sliced it, I just couldn’t cut the mustard.

My favorite job was being a musician, but eventually I realized I just wasn’t noteworthy.

I studied for years to become a doctor, but I discovered I didn’t have the patience.

Next, I tried working at a shoe factory. I worked hard, but I just couldn’t fit in.

Then I became a fisherman, but I discovered I couldn’t survive on my net income.

After that, I worked for a pool maintenance company, but the job was too draining.

So I tried working at a fitness center, but they said I simply wasn’t fit for the job.

After years of searching for steady work, I became a historian—but I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was at a muffler factory, but the work was just too exhausting.

Finally, I decided to try retirement.

And after all those years of searching…

I finally found the perfect job! Retirement suits me perfectly!