A bride visit to her family doctor office
Deeply concerned about her upcoming nuptials, a worried bride-to-be paid an urgent visit to her family doctor’s office.
She leaned in nervously and whispered, “Doctor, I am getting married this coming weekend! My fiance firmly believes that I have lived a completely innocent and pure life without any past romance. Is there any magical medical procedure you can perform to help me keep up this impression?”
The doctor stroked his chin, shook his head, and replied, “Medically speaking, there is nothing I can do. However, here is a clever little trick you can try… On your wedding night, while you are getting ready in the bathroom, take a heavy-duty rubber band and slide it way up near the top of your upper thigh under your robe.
When you two cuddle up close in bed for the first time, quietly reach down, snap that rubber band against your skin, and tell him it was the sound of your inner seal popping!”
The woman absolutely loved the creative idea and knew her trusting groom would fall for it without a second thought.
Fast forward to the weekend: they had a picture-perfect wedding ceremony followed by a grand reception, and finally retired to their luxurious honeymoon suite overlooking the city lights.
While her new groom was dimming the lights, the bride slipped into the bathroom, carefully slid the thick elastic band high up onto her leg, finished her nightly routine, and softly climbed into the plush bed beside her husband.
As the romantic mood built and things began to progress under the heavy covers, her husband snuggled up extra close to get cozy. Finding her moment, she reached down beneath the blanket and loudly snapped the rubber band against her leg.
Her husband instantly gasped, sat bolt upright in bed, and shouted in shock, “What on earth was that loud snapping sound?!”
The bride smiled bashfully and whispered, “Oh, it was nothing, sweetheart… that was just my inner purity seal popping!”
The husband jumped out of bed, holding his backside in total agony, and cried out, “Well, snap it again, it’s got my bum!!”