Funny Jokes

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then…

Michael the Dragon Master was an official in King Arthur’s court. He had a long standing obsession – to nuzzle the beautiful Queen’s voluptuous chest. But he knew the penalty…

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am…

A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils’ answer by reciting a short poem. The first kid sat in the first row was a…

A drunken man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained; his face was plastered with red lipstick, and…

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly…

Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home. Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60- year-old. You always feel like you have to pee. And most…

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and…

Brenda McCarthy is home making dinner for her husband Patrick when Tim Finnegan knocks at her door. “May I come in, Brenda darling’?” says Tim sadly, “I’ve something to tell…

A woman was on the witness stand, accused of poisoning her husband. “After you put poison in the coffee, you sat at the breakfast table and watched your husband drink…

Three ex-pats are drinking in a NY city bar. “As good as this is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a bar called…

A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for years chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the current issue of Chemistry in Britain,…

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, “People are always coming to us…

The story is told about a king in Africa who had a close friend he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever…

A preacher was told by his doctor that he had only a few weeks left to live. He went home feeling very sad, and when his wife heard the sad…

Two bright-eyed blonde friends decided to take a weekend trip to a brightly lit gaming resort to try their luck at the arcade gaming floor. Before heading inside the crowded,…

A overly confident attorney and a quiet blonde traveler found themselves seated side-by-side on a lengthy nonstop flight from Los Angeles to New York. Shortly after takeoff, the attorney leaned…

When four of Santa’s top workshop elves called in sick with the winter flu, the inexperienced apprentice elves couldn’t craft toys half as fast. Production fell dangerously behind, and Santa…