Relationship Jokes

The husband called the wife on the phone and said, “Today I will bring dinner from the Second Wife”. He came home and knocked. And was knocked out! He is…

Wife : Am I looking fat? Husband : Yes Wife : Shut up. Don’t you ever dare talk to me!! Wife : Am I looking fat? Husband : No Wife…

An elderly couple was having breakfast one fine morning. When the wife ask her husband, “Are you going to marry right after I die?” What a depressing question? Here we…

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror taking a hard look at herself. “You know,” she says,…

A wife asked her husband to describe her. He said, ‘You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K’. She said, ‘What does that mean?’ He said,…

A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend. “It sounds as if you had a great time in Texas,” the friend observed. “But didn’t you tell me you…

A couple were out doing some Christmas shopping together. The shopping centre was packed, and as the wife emerged from a shoe and handbag shop, she was surprised to find…

A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, turn on a night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat…

An 82-year-old husband and 80-year wife went to breakfast at a restaurant, Where the ‘seniors’ special’ was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99. ‘Sounds good,’ the wife…

So, a rich tycoon and his wife are having New Year’s dinner at a very exclusive restaurant, When an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the…

Early morning Husband woke up his wife and asked her: “Honey would you like to join me for Yoga?” She: “Ohh. So you mean to say I am fat?” Hubby:…

Little James is at a horse auction with his father. He watches as his father moves from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, backside….

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather’s lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach…

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means?” “You’ll…

A man comes home from a night of drinking. As he falls through the doorway, his wife snaps at him: “What’s the big idea coming home half drunk?” The man…

A wife is having lovemaking with her husband’s best friend one day. Soon the phone rings, so she answers it. “Yes… uh, huh… OK… yes… bye.” Her husband’s best friend…

One day at home the phone rings and Joe answers it. On the other end is a confused woman who asks, “Who is this?” “This is Joe. With whom did…

A couple was at the mall and his wife decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place…