A call from an anxious patient
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient. “I’m diabetic and I’m afraid I’ve had too much sugar today.” the caller said. “Are you light-headed?”…
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A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist
A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked that was the problem, she responded, “Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my melons get hard.” Shocked, the doctor…
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A man walked into work on Monday
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, “I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we…
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A blonde was driving down the road
A blonde was driving down the road and she looks up and she sees a tree so she swerves to the left. The tree is still front of her so…
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A man went to the doctor complaining
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination but found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him. “Listen,” the doctor said, “if you…
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A older couple were walking on a beach
An older couple were walking on a beach when the husband tripped over a bottle and a genie came out. “You can each have one wish,” said the genie. The…
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The Policeman recently stopped a woman
The Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, “I’m Mrs. Ladislav khashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan…
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Two women came before wise King Solomon
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. “This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter,” said one. “No! He agreed…
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The phone rings and Joe answers
One day at home the phone rings and Joe answers it. On the other end is a confused woman who asks, “Who is this?” “This is Joe. With whom did…
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Three gentlemen are golfing
Three gentlemen are golfing one sunny day. They come to a difficult par with a water trap just after the tee. The first golfer proceeds to hit his ball right…
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A very shy guy goes into a bar
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to…
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Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what’s wrong. “Well,” replies Paul, “you know that beautiful girl…
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A man sits down at a bar
A man sits down at a bar and orders a double martini. After he finishes, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders another. After he finishes that, he again…
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A police officer was investigating an accident
A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on. One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, “He wouldn’t…
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The man took out his wallet
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The…
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A blonde went up to a soda machine
One day a blonde went up to a soda machine, put in some money, and a soda came out. She got really excited and started to put more money into…
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A blonde walks into the police department
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions: Officer: What’s 2 + 2? Blonde: Ummm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root…
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A bunch of girls had become upset
A bunch of girls had become upset at an anthropology professor who had a knack of offending women. They decided the next time he did something offensive, they would all…