Funny Jokes

A secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.” “Why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained….

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission. He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.” In silent satisfaction, she…

Three nuns died and visited St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said he would admit them if they each answered one question. He turned to the first nun…

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around…

A patient was waiting nervously in the examination room of a famous specialist. “So who did you see before coming to me?” asked the doctor. “My General Practitioner.” “Your GP?”…

There are three girls at a bar, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde. They have a seat at the bar. The bar tender says, “If you go into…

A lady goes in to take a tennis lesson, and the instructor notices she is using the wrong grip. After several failed attempts to correct her, he finally says “OK,…

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned…

A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a…

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited…

Hung Chow calls into work and says, “Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomachache and my legs-hurt, I no come work.” The boss…

A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic’s eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the…

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes…

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “That new upper plate I put in for you six…

A guy goes to the psychiatrist. “Doctor,” says the guy, “I feel as if I’m two different people! Two totally different personalities!” “Do you think I need help?” “Can you…

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class…

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the…

A woman is walking on the road and a voice shouts out, “Don’t take a step further.” She obeys and suddenly a ton of bricks fall on the place where…