Funny Jokes

A blonde was so upset about everyone always making fun of her being blonde that she decided to hang herself. A little while later, a couple of guys walk by…

A woman was out driving when she stalled at a red light. Hard though she tried, she was unable to restart the engine and soon a long queue began to…

A little old lady tried to phone her local bank but was put through instead to the bank’s call center in India. “Is that the High Street branch?” she asked….

A man walked into a bar and ordered a twelve-year-old scotch. Believing that the customer would not be able to tell the difference, the bartender poured him a shot of…

A man runs to the doctor and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!” The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition?”…

One day a woman was working at a bank when an armed and masked robber bursts in demanding money. The woman has no money and says: “sir you do realize…

A rich lady gives her butler the night off because she is going out on a date. When she arrives back home from the date she saw the butler was…

Hello, 911. I have an emergency. My girlfriend is about to kill me. Is she there with you right now? No, she is probably on her way to my house….

A busty blonde woman walks into a New York bank and goes straight up to the counter. “Hello,” the man behind the counter says to the woman. “How can I…

A young pot head starts to smoke. His neighbors, an older christian couple, get sick of the smell seeping through the walls and call the cops. After a few minutes,…

The first day of first grade, Mrs. Smith asked her students to name their favorite letter. One young girl in front raised her hand and said: “My favorite letter is…

The teacher asked the students to identify an animal whose name starts with the letter “K”. Carl raised his hand and answered, “Kangaroo!” “Very well”, the teacher said. “What animal’s…

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. “All right children, let’s take another example,” she said. “If I were to get into…

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, “If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I’d be…

A drunk walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.” So, the bartender does just that,…

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink and he said, “No…

A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened. “I did a terrible thing,” sniffed the drunk, “Just a few…

One day this girl, who is wearing a skirt, goes out to play with her friends. She goes to the park and meets a boy. They talk about climbing trees….