Funny Jokes

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said, “But…

A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because every part of her body hurt. The doctor looked concerned and said, “Show me where.” The blonde touched her…

A guy goes over to his friend’s house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. “Hi, is Tony home?” “No, he went to the store.” “Well, you mind if I…

An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.” Taken aback, the doctor…

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, “Well, I’m…

A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the lawyer’s rates. “$50.00 for three questions”, replied the lawyer. “Isn’t that awfully steep?” asked the man. “Yes,” the lawyer…

A professor at the University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks them, “How many folk here believe in ghosts?” About…

A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were…

A teacher asks her class if anyone could use the word ‘indefinitely’ in a sentence. Little Johnny raises his hand at the back of the class. But the teacher knows…

Three guys are in a doctor`s office. One is a drunk, another`s a smoker and the third`s a gay guy. The doctor tells each of them that, if they indulge…

A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden! Immediately, one of the boys threw…

A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. “What’s wrong?” asked his mother. “Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?” he sobbed. “In a way…

Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge. He asks the first guy to stand: “What is your name?” he asked. “John,” the guy…

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he pick up a CD player to place in his sack, a…

A husband and wife decided they needed to use code to indicate that they wanted to have lovemaking without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word…

A man is traveling through the jungle for days. Growing tired, he passes by a house and decides to ask if they could put him up for the night. After…

This guy is walking with his friend. He says to this friend, “I’m a walking economy.” The friend replies “How so?” “My hair line is in recession, my stomach is…

A wife woke up from her night’s sleep and began recounting her dream to her husband. “I dream they were auctioning off tools in this place, “she began, “the big…