Funny Jokes

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in June,”…

A man was being interviewed for a job. “Were you in the service?” ask the interviewer. “Yes, I was a marine,” responded the applicant. “Did you see any active duty?”…

A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow $200 for six months. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says,…

There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “Attention all!!” and farts loudly. The wife is…

Three blondes are talking about their boyfriends. “It’s funny,” says Samantha, “Peter’s balls are always cold as ice when I’m giving him a bl*wjob!” “You know what?” replies Jenny, “It’s…

A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder. Looking up, he sees that the ladder disappears into the clouds. Curious, he begins to climb. Before…

A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He goes home to tell his wife and after they both had…

An old sea captain with one wooden leg, one hook replacing a missing hand, and one missing eye goes into a bar. The sailor sitting next to him says, “You’re…

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her “Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all…

Mr. Rabinowicz goes to the doctor for a check up. After extensive tests the doctor tells him, “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. You only have six…

A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked: “Did you kill that?” The pigmy said “Yes.” The hunter…

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly…

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter’s office. There were audible gasps around the…

A Scotsman, drinking in a Havana bar, saw a man with a large black beard enter. He ordered a drink, the bartender served him, he drank it, and then started…

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how…

A lady goes into the butcher shop and as she is walking around the store, she spies a beef tongue in the butcher’s counter. The lady asks, “What in the…

This lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices this handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts. Making sure she goes through his line she…

The tourist in London climbed into a cab and noticed by the license that his cab driver’s name was Winston Churchill. Trying to make conversation, he said, “I see your…