Funny Jokes

Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that…

Two nuns are doing their grocery shopping. As they pass the cooler full of beer, one nun says longingly to the other one, “A cold beer would go down great…

Mr. Brown was working in his garden when on the other side of the fence, he heard his neighbor crying. Mr. Brown popped his head over the fence and asked,…

A man saw a lady with big melons. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your melons for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens…

Employee: “I bet you $6,000 i can piss in your cup 30 meters away.” Boss: “OK I would like to see you try.” Employee: As he moves on pissing all…

The teacher was teaching in animal lesson. Teacher: What does a pig do? Student: it rolls around in mud. Teacher: Good! What does a cow do? Student: It makes milk!…

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says, “Wow, you must have had one hell of a day.” “Yeah,…

A man hires a call girl and they go back to his house. The man says I have never had a 69 before. The call girl says okay lets try…

A hippie in a bus sees a very beautiful lady and he goes to the lady and asks, “can I do my way with you?” The lady replies by saying,…

A man was driving his wife home after a night out, when they were stopped by the police. “Sir, did you know you were speeding?” asked the officer. “No, I…

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but…

There are three women. One is dating, one is engaged, and one is married. They decide to get kinky with their men and really pull out all the stops to…

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough….

A husband suspected his wife was cheating on him. He explained his situation to a pet shop owner who replied, “I have a parrot that will let you know daily…

Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing undressed around his John Deere. “What are you doing!” asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says,…

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, “I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of…

Dylan was practicing his golf swing in his front yard when he swung a little too hard and sent the ball through his neighbors window. Dylan ran over and rang…

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it’s his daughter’s birthday and he hasn’t bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the…