Funny Jokes

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in lovemaking. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental. He…

The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all…

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to…

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner. The girl tells her boyfriend that she would like to “do it” for the first time. The…

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of…

One day a teacher was asking her class to use absolutely in a sentence. So Janet raised her hand and said, “the sky is absolutely blue” The teacher said no,…

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner: The woman took out her…

Judy and Ted got married and had 13 children, then Ted died of Heart Disease: Judy married again and she and Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in…

Last Year A Guy Took His Blonde Girl Friend To The Superbowl. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked…

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get to the cabin, the guy goes out to chop some wood to start the…

A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States. In order to get a visa, they had to adapt their…

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn’t find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her…

Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, “I did that by…

A businessman is hurrying home on the motorway after a hard days work when he is stopped by a policeman. “Do you know you were driving 30 mph over the…

A group of male friends, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons because the waitresses had big…

An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly…

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the…

A boy who was a witness to a crime was called to testify in court. He was approached by the defence attorney who asked, “Did anyone tell you what to…