The phone rings and the lady of the house answers
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, ‘Hello.’ ‘Mrs. Sanders, please.’ ‘Speaking.’ ‘Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband’s doctor sent…
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A old lady went to a bank
An old lady went to a bank intending to withdraw money… The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $500.”…
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A magician is working on a Cruise Ship
A magician is working on a Cruise Ship with him, he has a parrot to spice up his routine. Sadly, the parrot has the habit of ruining his show. Whenever…
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A blonde walks into a doctors office
One day a blonde walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her what had happened. She says, “well… when I was ironing my…
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A wealthy man has lost his wallet
A man finds a wallet with $700 in it. A few days later, he reads a notice stating that a wealthy man has lost his wallet and is offering a…
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He knocked on the door of one house
A neighborhood kid was looking for ways to earn money. He knocked on the door of one house, and when the man answered the boy asked, “Hey mister, got any…
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A blind man went to restaurant
A blind man went to a restaurant. “Menu sir?” asked the owner. “I’m blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks. I will smell it and order.” The confused…
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He rushes upstairs to find his wife on the bed
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife undressed on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s…
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She calmly writes down his order
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, “$500 if we fail to fill your order.” When his waitress arrives, he orders…
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A man is in a bar and falling off his stool
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk So the bartender says to another man in the bar: “Why…
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A guy goes into a tattoo parlor
A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his weapon. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want…
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A man and his wife are at a restaurant
A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table. His wife asks, “Do…
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A Scotsman was waiting for his son
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. “Were you worried, father?” “Yes, I was really worried… I…
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Three newlywed men were discussing
Three newlywed men were discussing their wives. The first guy married an Iowa gal; he says, I told my wife she had to all the cooking. The first day I…
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A insurance company asked for more information
An insurance company asked for more information regarding a work-related accident claim This was the response: “I put ‘poor planning’ as the cause of my accident I am an amateur…
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He was in court filing for a divorce
Dan married a woman with an identical twin. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. “Tell the court why you want a divorce,” said…
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A woman and army general
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied “1956, ma’am.” The woman, in disbelief said “1956?! That long?…
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A older gentleman was on the operating
An older gentleman was on the operating table a waiting surgery, and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the…