Funny Jokes

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front…

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady,…

Two unemployed guys are talking. One says: “I’m going to become a lion-tamer.” The other replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.” “Yes I do!” “Well,…

A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender’s face. Before the…

Two old men were fishing off a bridge as they had done daily for many years. Suddenly a funeral procession came down the road. The one old man reeled in…

Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge and bragging about their sons. “My Freddie,” said Margaret, “Everyone should be so lucky to have a son like my…

A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart…

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my…

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought…

A letter an 83-year-old lady wrote to her grandson. My dear grandson, Some days ago, I experienced something wonderful, which I want to share with you. I went to a…

A old man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and…

A farmer comes home to find his sheepdog waiting for him. The sheepdog says: “I herded the sheep into the barn, just like you asked!” “You sure you got them…

A lady was in a pet store to buy a parrot. Looking around she noted the prices ranged from $150 to $200. Still wanting to be sure before making any…

Little Johnny and his 13-year-old sister had been fighting a lot. This happens when you combine a headstrong two-year-old with a young adolescent. Johnny’s parents, trying to take advantage of…

Little Johnny, Billy, and Tommy were walking home from school one warm spring day. As they were cutting through the alleys and backyards, They happened to look through a h*le…

So, old Johnny goes into the car showroom and finds the car he wants to buy: Old Johnny asks the salesman not sell the particular model till the next day,…

A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day… She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favourite: a sandwich on…

Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked the first officer, “What did you do with your life?” “I was a police officer,” he…