Funny Jokes

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of a sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he starts swimming towards his boat. As he looks back…

A farmer decides its time to tell his son how he breeds the animals. He explains about the cows and the bull, the mares and the stallion and the ewes…

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn’t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but…

A boss says to his secretary, “we are travelling abroad for the week so make arrangements” . The secretary makes call to her husband, “My boss and i will be…

A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting…

Two guys are driving along in a car when they see two dogs mating in someone’s yard. The driver says, “That is great. My wife and I do that every…

A sixty-four-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing when a young man walks by and asks him what’s wrong. Through his tears, the old man answers, “I’m in…

A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business. When the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby. The baby wouldn’t take it so…

There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?”…

Grandpa Joe was being taken by his grandchildren to his new nursing home. They took him in on his wheelchair. A young nurse met them. “Welcome to our nursing home…

Herm is 85 years old and retired. He gets a checkup with his physician. A week or so after ward the doc sees Herm strolling the boardwalk with his arm…

A professor sits with a farmer in a train. Bored, the professor says to the farmer: “I ask you a question, if you can’t answer it, you give me $5;…

A senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver’s ear. She said, “Driver, I believe that…

An elderly patient in a mental hospital was being reviewed for possible release. When asked what he would do if released, he replied, “I am going to make a slingshot…

When a woman entered the pharmacy, she approached the pharmacist and stated to him, staring into his eyes, “I want to purchase some cyanide.” Why on earth do you need…

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, “Martha, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!” Martha replies, “Shall I pack for warm weather…

Frank and Jim, are walking down the street when Jim turns to Frank and says, “Frank, if you had two of those top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz cars, with all the gear,…

A teacher is trying to teach good manners to her third-grade students. She turned to her class and said, “Michael if you were on a date having dinner with a…