Joke of the day

A pregnant woman boards a bus. After taking a seat, she notices a man smiling at her. She feels self-conscious and changes her seat, but he seems even more amused….

On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!” The voice from the other side…

An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs. The dentist said: “Excuse me;…

The doctor and his wife were playing golf at the club. On the first Tee, she drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway. The doctor said, “Wow,…

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,…

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever…

An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway police. Ma’am, did you know you were…

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to…

A fireman comes home from work one day and tells his wife, “We have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings, we put on our jackets; Bell…

One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his manhood into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to…

A 71 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar Suddenly a gorgeous 19 year old girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl…

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?”…

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his private part. A woman passing by remarks, “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you…

There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of…

An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini, “I want to feel your fronts” he exclaimed. “Get away from me, you…

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he…

A Polish man had married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada for a year or so and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got…

A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?” “Objection!” said…