Joke of the day

“That wife of mine is a liar,” said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar. “How do you know?” the friend asked. “She…

A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak…. He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun….

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get…

A woman wants to divorce her husband, so she is talking to her lawyer. Lawyer: “Well first we need a reason, is he not giving you money?” Woman: “if he…

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around…

A man is having dinner with his new girlfriend’s family. They spend the early part of the evening talking, getting to know each other, and just generally having a good…

A 90 year old woman just got married for the 4th time…. It was big news in a small town and a local reporter wanted to interview the lady for…

One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very…

Jenny was explaining to her husband how much fun they’d had at the beach during her bridge club annual outing. “But,” she told him, “it didn’t end all that great…

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, “You use to hold…

A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says, “oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?” The blonde replies “Well,…

Husband [:D] Darling, my sweet heart I will be enjoying this Sunday. Wife: How? Husband: I bought three tickets for the movie. Wife: thats great, but we are two, why…

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, “How was the honeymoon?” “Oh, mama,” she…

This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has…

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers… Like a telephone… On his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells…

A lady gives herself a treat for her 70th birthday A lady decided to give herself a treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in an expensive hotel. When…

Three friends had a very good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say “It could have been worse.” His…

A mother takes her daughter to a clinic She tells the doctor that her daughter has been having terrible nausea in the morning, lost her appetite, and even missed a…