Joke of the day

A man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. ‘Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession. I had make love with Fanny Green twice…

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say “It could have been worse.” His friends…

Two old men are sat on a bench at the park. A young, smoking hot girl runs past though them. One of the men smiles and this brings the girl…

A boy comes back from school, disappointed, because he got a 0 on a geography exam. “The teacher gave me a zero because I couldn’t answer a question on Portugal,”…

The superman was kinda bored so he just started flying around looking for something to do. He’s flying over Wonder Woman’s house and sees her bedroom window is open. He…

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for “Gorilla Removers”. He…

A man and a woman had been married for ten years and decided to try and have kids. They had not been using birth control for the entire time they…

A girl is about to tie the knot, and is watching her mother bake biscuits in the kitchen. “Mom?” she asks. “How do you keep Dad so happy after all…

An older couple are playing in the annual club championship. They are playing in a playoff hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has…

A young blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices. She stomped out of the store and headed…

A woman scanned the guest at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone so she approached him. “My name is Carmen,” she told him. “That’s a beautiful name,”…

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host…

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a stunningly beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight black leather mini skirt…

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The…

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in…

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and…

Two guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding. “I’m not sure if my future bride is a pure or not.” His buddy replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that. All…

It was a little boy’s first day in school and a teacher was going to play a “guessing” game. She passed out different items to each of the students and…