One day a man came home
One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. “What’s wrong, dearest?” asked the confused husband. “Oh darling,” sobbed the wife, “I…
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A new patient was quite upset
A new patient was quite upset when the doctor’s nurse led him to a small, curtained cubicle and told him to undress. “But I only want the doctor to look…
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A old woman is upset
An old woman is upset at her husband’s funeral. “You have him in a brown suit and I wanted him in a blue suit.” The mortician says, “We’ll take care…
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Mr. Brown was working
Mr. Brown was working in his garden when on the other side of the fence, he heard his neighbor crying. Mr. Brown popped his head over the fence and asked,…
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A mother comes home from work
A mother comes home from work to find that her kids are hiding behind the couch. She asks what’s wrong, and the kids reply that aunt Sally was in the…
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A man and woman were in bedroom
One day a man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the lady parted her legs, the…
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A girl asks her father
A girl asks her father, “Why does it rain? Is it God sweating or crying?” “No,” says her father, “it rains to make the plants grow. Do you understand?” ”…
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A man is lying on the beach
A man is lying on the beach, Wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would…
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A guy takes his girlfriend
A guy takes his girlfriend to his bedroom, Drops his pants, and says, “Meet my little brother.” The girlfriend picks up her purse on the way out and says, “Call…
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A man saw a lady
A man saw a lady with big melons. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your melons for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens…
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Two guys are walking through
Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as…
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A blonde and a brunette in a car
There’s a blonde and a brunette in a car. The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat. They’re going down a steep hill when the brunette…
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Employee & Boss
Employee: “I bet you $6,000 i can piss in your cup 30 meters away.” Boss: “OK I would like to see you try.” Employee: As he moves on pissing all…
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Three doctors are out geese hunting
Three doctors are out geese hunting. A gaggle flies over and the oncologist raises and then lowers his gun. “I better conduct an MRI first to determine if those were…
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The teacher was teaching in animal lesson
The teacher was teaching in animal lesson. Teacher: What does a pig do? Student: it rolls around in mud. Teacher: Good! What does a cow do? Student: It makes milk!…
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A woman walks into a cafe
A woman walks into a cafe with a stomach ache. After a while she realizes she needs to relieve herself, knowing her farts are loud, she decides to fart simultaneously…
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A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” The barman says, “Wow, you must have had one hell of a day.” “Yeah,…
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A guy call in to his Boss
A guy call in to his Boss. Worker: I can’t come to work today. I’m sick Boss: Oh yea! What’s wrong with you now? Worker: I have anal glaucoma. Boss:…