She goes to the door and opens
A woman is alone at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He…
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The teacher asked little Johnny
At school one morning, the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast. Little Johnny said, “Well, on my way to school I come cross this apple tree, so…
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A man and his wife to a Broadway show
A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission he had to use the bathroom in the worst way, so he hurried to find the bathrooms….
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A guy walks into a bar and orders
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As he’s drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes…
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He goes to a witch in the woods
There is this guy who has a 25 inch tool. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his tool smaller because he…
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A Midwest farmer was describing
A Midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. “One of the benefits of this profession,” he explained, “is that we have built-in weather predictions.”…
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The first morning of her honeymoon
A young Japanese girl had been taught all of her life, that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him. So the first morning of…
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A man was driving down the road
A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window. The bee said, “What seems to be the…
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A man was sitting alone in his office
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie appeared in a puff of smoke and said, “And what will your third wish be?” The man…
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Two women were comparing
Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business. “I started a new practice last year,” the first one said. “I insist that each of my…
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A salesman was trying to talk farmer
A salesman was trying to talk a farmer into buying a bicycle, but was meeting with considerable sales resistance. “Shucks, I’d sooner spend my money on a cow,” said the…
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A doctor just finishes his check up
A doctor just finishes his check up with a man. Dr: I’ve got good new and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Patient: I guess the bad…
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A wife asked her husband
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E,…
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Three drunks get into a taxi
Three drunks get into a taxi and tell the driver where to go. The driver has an idea of the address so he starts the engine, waits a few seconds…
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A man walks into a butcher shop
It’s a summer holiday weekend and a man walks into a butcher shop that has a sign in the window saying “Ground Sirloin: 29 cents per pound.” The man says,…
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A little guy gets on a plane
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next…
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A couple of tourists were dining
A couple of tourists were dining at a fine restaurant in Paris. After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch the waiter’s eye. “I want a…
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The Mexican Maid asked for a pay rise
The Mexican Maid asked for a pay rise. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked, “Now Maria, why do…