Three elderly gentlemen were talking
Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them in fifty years’ time. The first said, “I would like my grandchildren to say ‘He was…
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Two little boys were arguing
Two little boys were arguing. “My father is better than your father!” “No he’s not!” “My brother is better than your brother!” “No he’s not!” “My mother is better than…
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A guy walks into a shoe store
A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes. The salesman says, “But, sir, I can see from up here you’re at…
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A man goes to a shrink and says
A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps…
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Two hunters Paul and Kurt
Two hunters, Paul and Kurt, were in a lodge, making small talk. Paul asked Kurt, “So, what do you hunt?” Kurt answered, “I hunt unicorns.” Paul was startled, but said,…
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Two little squirrels were walking
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, “Oh, look! A nut!” The second squirrel jumped on it and said,…
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Three women were sitting
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives. One woman said, “I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he…
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A radical feminist is getting on a bus
A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, “Here’s another man trying to…
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A man scolded his son
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and…
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A band director was having a lot
A band director was having a lot of trouble with one of his drummers. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but performance didn’t improve. Finally, in front…
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A farmer and his wife were laying
A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night, the farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife’s melons a little feel and says, “Mother,…
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The Russian couple make love
The Russian couple make love life was terrible, so they were quite excited when Moscow’s first make love store opened up across the street. “Olga, why don’t you go out…
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A pick pocket was up in court
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said, “Sir, you are hereby fined $100.” The lawyer stood up and said, “Thanks, your…
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A brunette goes into a doctor office
A brunette goes into a doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. “Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.” She takes her finger, presses on her…
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A child goes to his father
A child goes to his father and asks, “Father, how do parents think of names for their children?” The father answers, “Well, son, the night before the mother gives birth,…
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She told them in no uncertain
Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that…
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Two nuns are grocery shopping
Two nuns are doing their grocery shopping. As they pass the cooler full of beer, one nun says longingly to the other one, “A cold beer would go down great…
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Three elderly men are talking a walk
Three elderly men are talking a walk outside their nursing home. The first one says, “Windy, isn’t it?” The second one says, “No, it’s Thursday!” The third one says, “So…