Meeting Up With Old Friends
A group of male friends, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons because the waitresses had big…
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Outdoors Man
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day – “Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7…
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Student And Teacher Talk
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I’d climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake…
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Old Sam
An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly…
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DNA Test Results
After 3 years, the wife starts to think that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the child is actually from…
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Two Senior Widows
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking. Dorothy: “That nice George Johnston asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I…
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An Old Physician And A Young Physician
An old physician, Dr. Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to re-open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: “Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Get…
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Lawyer and Police Accident
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the…
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A Boy Who Was A Witness To A Crime
A boy who was a witness to a crime was called to testify in court. He was approached by the defence attorney who asked, “Did anyone tell you what to…
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Newborn Baby Joke
Two elderly grandparents from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: “Slim, I’m 83 years old now and…
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Pregnant Woman
A pregnant woman boards a bus. After taking a seat, she notices a man smiling at her. She feels self-conscious and changes her seat, but he seems even more amused….
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The Best Pray
A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby “Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray,” the priest…
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A Man Who Smells Like A Distillery
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a…
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Hilarious HR Interview
Interviewers ask routine questions to candidates…. Some weird answers…. Q – Tell us about yourself ? A – Yourself is pronoun used when the subject and object of the verb…
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The Old Bore
A tired minister was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was not anxious…
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Counting In The Courtyard
A group of people were touring a university campus and they noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. “What are…
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A guy walks into the bar
A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks “how much for a beer?” The bartender replies “$1”. The customer completely amazed, orders…
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A woman announces to her friend that
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. “How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first…