Clean Jokes

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to…

An doubter was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat…

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day,she asked, “Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?”…

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an…

A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them….

A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards. “What denomination?” asked the clerk. “Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman….

A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife doesn’t want to have lovemaking with him for the last 7 months. The doc tells the man to…

A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another guy and immediately notices the guy has a very large Bic cigarette lighter. The first guy says “Wow, cool…

One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf….

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help….

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, “Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale.” A preacher walked up and asked why he was…

A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. “Young lady,” the doctor began, “you’re pregnant.” “But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been…

A drunk walks into a bar and orders a glass of whisky. He takes several gulps and dies a sudden death. In Heaven he begs of God, “Please, bring me…

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all…

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks the blonde if she would like to play a…

Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a make love life. One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half…

A teacher was giving her class of small children a lesson on good manners. “Suppose, by mistake, you step on a lady’s foot. What do you do?” “I say ‘excuse…

Three friends were at the bar talking, and after many rounds of beer, one of them suggests that everyone admits something they have never admitted to anyone. “Okay,” says the…