Clean Jokes

Frank came into work late one day and his boss was noticeably upset: “You’ve been late almost every day this month! You’re fired unless you give me a good reason…

It was a bright Sunday morning and Mr. Smith is reading his morning paper at the front porch when his only child came up to him. “Dad, I’m pregnant,” confessed…

An old man came to his doctor’s office and asked for a consultation about a very sensitive problem. “I fart all the time, Doctor Miller. On my way here until…

Wife sent a message to her husband: Don’t forget to buy vegetables on your way back from office, and says hi to you. Husband: Who is Rita ? Wife: Nothing,…

A guy in a bar stands up and says, “All lawyers are bastard.” Another guy stands up and says “Hey…I resent that…” The first guy says, “Why? Are you a…

A 70 year old man went to his doctor’s office to get a seed count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring…

Joe is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her…

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn….

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. ‘Just where the heck do you think you’re going!’, said…

The blind man was out walking with his Guide dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man’s leg. Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and…

A man was out hunting. He just happened to be hunting bears. As he trudged through the forest looking for the beasts, he came upon a large and steep hill….

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The…

The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves…

Mrs. Samson asks her class: “Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?” Nobody raises a hand, so she…

A man walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared. “I will grant you three wishes,” announced the genie. “But there…

Bill and Mary were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and planned a second wedding. They were discussing the details with their friends. Mary…

A young man walked up and sat down at the bar. “What can I get you?” the bartender inquired. “I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,” responded the young man. “6…

Two fishermen travel 100 miles to try out a new fishing spot. They buy a variety of bait and lures and rent a boat. After a long day of fishing,…