A young man asked an old rich man
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth…
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A husband was sitting quietly reading
A husband was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of the head with…
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He goes to his doctor for checkup
A man hasn’t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor comes out with the results. “I’m afraid I have some very…
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She stared at him as he introduced himself
A young pastor moved to town and decided he would go around and introduce himself to the new congregation. He rang the first door bell and a lady came to…
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He went up to her and said
A man was shopping in the men’s department at Bloomingdale’s when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter. He went up to her and said, “Good morning,…
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Mr. Johnson was overweight
Mr. Johnson was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. He said, I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this…
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Teacher says to her class
Nursery school teacher says to her class, “Who can use the word ‘Definitely’ in a sentence?” First a little girl says “The sky is definitely blue” Teacher says, “Sorry, Amy,…
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A guy is sitting at a bar
A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He’s slamming tequila left and right. He grabs one, drinks it, goes over to a…
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Frank and John left the bar
Frank and John left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in…
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A blonde goes into a nearby store
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn’t…
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A man walked into an insurance office
A man walked into an insurance office and asked two senior executives for a job. “We’re not taking on new staff,” they said. “But you can’t afford to be without…
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A man walks up to a woman in his office
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair…
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The bartender asked a guy sitting at the bar
The bartender asked a guy sitting at the bar: “What’ll you have?” The guy answered: “A scotch, please.” The bartender handed him the drink and said: “That’ll be $5.” The…
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Doctor put her on a diet
My girlfriend was slightly overweight. So, our Doctor put her on a diet. He said to her that she had to eat regularly for 2 days, skip a day and…
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Sarah goes to school
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?” Sarah waves her hand,…
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A deaf man enters a pharmacy
A deaf man enters a pharmacy to buy rubber pack and tries to explain what he wants with sign language. The pharmacist doesn’t understand anything so the deaf man puts…
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A young lady is buying a box
A young lady is buying a box of tampons in the store. They are missing the UPC and won’t ring up. The cashier asks his co-worker to go and check…
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A man walks into a bar and sees a man
A man walks into a bar and sees a man sitting at a table with a tiny man playing a tiny piano. “Hey, where’d you get that?” The man asks….