Clean Jokes

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation… only this year I’m gonna do it…

Little Johnny was wondering one day and decided to ask his dad… “Dad, how come big dogs can make little dogs and big cats can make little cats but why…

An elderly man in a bar had a couple of beers, and the bartender told him he owed 4 dollars. “But I paid, don’t you remember?” said the customer. “Okay,”…

An old couple took an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a…

The donkey said to the tiger, ‘The grass is blue.’ Tiger said, ‘No grass is green.’ Then the discussion between the two became intense. Both of them are firm in…

This woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a goat runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits…

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says. “I’m on…

Little Johnny’s father took him on a fishing trip to Canada. On returning home after catching only three fish his father says, “The way I figure it each fish cost…

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he…

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. “Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have…

One evening a teenage daughter and her mother were out shopping when they stopped to make a purchase. The young girl greeted the cashier with only a “Hi,” then proceeded…

One day, an 80-year-old man comes home and finds his 80-year-old wife doing a handstand, undressed, against a wall. Shocked, he asks, “What are you doing?” She responds, “I know…

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, slams a book down and screams at the librarian, “This is the worst book I’ve ever read! It…

Two little old ladies, Connie, and Jean, were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. The short one, Jean, leaned…

The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you…

Man looks at his friend and says “if you and a friend go camping you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a rubber in…

An american was touring Mexico. After his day’s sight-seeing, he stops at a local restaurant. While sipping his wine, he notices a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the…

Two Irishman, Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub after drinking late night. Mick says to Paddy, “I can’t be bothered to walk all that way.” “I know,”…