Clean Jokes

Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favourite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I…

Ever since I was a child, I’d always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him: “I’ve got problems….

A lady walks into a pet store. She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBO The lady asks the pet shop owner, “Why so cheap?”…

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that truck?!” He calmly told them, “I…

There were two brothers who were always up to some mischief. If somebody had been locked up in his house or if somebody’s dog had been painted green, one always…

About a hundred years ago, a man looked at the morning newspaper and to his surprise and horror, he read his name in the obituary column. The news papers had…

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport. As she would need to wait for a long time, she decided to buy…

There was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, ‘Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing.’ Soon, a baby boy…

One beautiful sunny day, Buddha walked into one small village. Suddenly, a young man approached him and started offending him. He said: “Who are you to teach the world? You…

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered…

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, “What was…

The pastor stood before the congregation and said; “I have bad news, I have good news, and I have more bad news.” The congregation got quiet. “The bad news is:…

A young doctor had moved to a small community near Broken Hill to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on…

An 85-year-old man was told by the Doctor that he needed a seed count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take…

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely” to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of…

A fox sneaked into a farm and grabbed a prize rooster. The farmer saw him and raised the alarm and he and his dogs started chasing the thief. The fox,…

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his…

Doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered…