Clean Jokes

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, as the man is taste it down the drink he looks over and notices a dog licking his nuts. The…

An elderly woman went to the doctor complaining of recent intestinal problems. “Doctor I have terrible gas lately, but it doesn’t smell or make noise.” The doctor prescribed some pills…

A blonde decides to make an experiment. She gets a spider, and pulls of two legs and tells it to walk. It walks a few steps, so she removes another…

Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his…

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, doctor,” said the curvy call girl. “I feel tired, dragged out. Pooped. No pep. No get up and go. Is it vitamin deficiency,…

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service…

A female teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in 3rd grade class. The boy said, “Teacher, I should be in 4th grade. I am smarter…

Three engineers are riding in a car: an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car stalls and stops by the side of the road. The…

Lucy and John were recently attending church services at The Villages. About halfway through, Lucy took a pen and paper out of her purse, and wrote a note and handed…

Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance…

A male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice. After a week…

My wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that “help” you get an self enjoyment. You should of seen her face when I…

Who in the hell is Larry? Well Larry is the guy who gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says “Where the hell have you been?” Larry replies…

A Blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending…

A guy was at a bar and needed to fart. He controlled himself for almost half an hour and couldn’t leave the bar because he didn’t want to lose his…

A blonde, worried about the HIV crisis, walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of rubber pack. “That will be $1.08, please,” says the clerk. “What’s the 8 cents…

A man finds a wallet with $700 in it. A few days later, he reads a notice stating that a wealthy man has lost his wallet and is offering a…

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to…