Clean Jokes

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The…

A man came home from work early one day, and found his wife undressed and panting on the bed. “Honey,” she said, thinking quickly, “I think I’m having a heart…

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the…

Attending a wedding for the first time, A little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the color of happiness and today…

One afternoon a fox was walking through the forest and spotted a bunch of grapes hanging from over a lofty branch. “Just the thing to quench my thirst,” he thought….

An old Man walked into the bank and stood in the queue, when it was his turn he handed his bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would…

A man who made spears and shields once came to Akbar’s court. “Your Majesty, nobody can make shields and spears to equal mine,” he said. “My shields are so strong…

Two accountants are in their local credit union on their lunch break, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line…

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,…

The male teacher in a girls’ school asked the science class: “Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?…

This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father. His father…

A man phones home from his office and tells his wife: “Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. It’s the opportunity of…

A blonde and a brunet are getting in the elevator, along comes this really hot guy. The girls noticed he has a really bad dandruff problem. The brunet whispers to…

Bill and Doug were having a beer at the neighborhood bar. “What’s the matter?” asked Bill of his buddy. “You look kind of down.” “My wife just told me that…

A mother-in-law stopped by her daughter-in-law’s house, to give her some fruit. When her daughter-in-law opened the door, she was undressed! “Oh my gosh! Why aren’t you wearing anything?” exclaimed…

A farmer is giving his wife last minute instructions before heading to town to do chores: “A guy will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the cows. I’ve…

An old couple in an old folks home are having an affair, nothing much they just sit watching TV late at night while the old woman holds the old mans…

A family is sitting around the supper table discussing anatomy. Suddenly the son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of melons are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son,…