Clean Jokes

An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by. Then he spoke: “Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses. “Mary, you…

Frank and Jim, are walking down the street when Jim turns to Frank and says, “Frank, if you had two of those top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz cars, with all the gear,…

Two Blondes, living in Kansas, were sitting on a bench one evening, one asked the other. “What do you think is farther, Florida or the moon?” The other blonde give…

A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbucks one day comparing their two cultures. Over a double latte, the Greek mentions “We built the Pantheon, you may recall,…

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure…

The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred during the war. During the Persian Gulf War, I was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia. As…

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.” The…

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had…

A stylish blonde turned up at a prestigious country club for her very first professional golf lesson. Excited to learn the sport, she met the head golf instructor out on…

Deeply concerned about her upcoming nuptials, a worried bride-to-be paid an urgent visit to her family doctor’s office. She leaned in nervously and whispered, “Doctor, I am getting married this…

Two friends worked together at a sawmill, spending their days cutting timber and operating heavy machinery. One afternoon, an unfortunate accident occurred when one of the men got too close…

A state government employee was sitting at his desk one slow afternoon, feeling bored after spending hours in the office with very little to do. Looking for something to pass…

An eccentric philosophy professor was famous for giving his students unusual challenges. Throughout the semester, his class had explored a wide range of complicated ideas, debated difficult questions, and discussed…

The Smith family had always been proud of its impressive family heritage. According to their family stories, their ancestors had arrived in America aboard the Mayflower, and their descendants included…

It was a freezing winter morning, and the temperature had dropped so low that everything outside seemed covered in ice. While getting ready for the day, a wife ran into…

Two doctors, Dr. Jenkins and Dr. Smith, were treating a patient whose lung condition had become worse. They explained that his habit of smoking marijuana could be contributing to his…

Two women went out for an evening together while their husbands stayed home. They enjoyed a few drinks at a local bar, chatted for hours, and eventually decided it was…

One evening, a Jewish man visited a Chinese restaurant for dinner. While looking through the menu, he became curious about something and decided to ask the waiter a rather unusual…