Clean Jokes

A woman has a serious accident and ends up in the hospital undergoing surgery. Her husband waits in the waiting room, distraught, when several hours later the surgeon exits the…

A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How…

Carl was talking to a girl in a New York City bar. He asked, “Can I get you a drink?” The girl replied, “Certainly.” Carl then asked, “What would you…

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class…

Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done…

A blonde car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car…

Three Blonds are walking down the street when they see some tracks. The first one said “I think they are dog tracks.” The second one said “I think they are…

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her…

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had just one golf ball. “Don’t you have at least…

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly jumped…

A blonde is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks her, “What are you doing in there?” She says, “I’m washing my clothes.” The man asks, “Why…

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the…

Two blondes walking down the street. One reaches into her pocketbook for a make up compact and looks into the mirror. “This picture looks like someone I know” she says….

A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a whisky. When the bartender delivers the drink, the cowboy asks, “Where is everybody?” The bartender replies, “They’ve gone to the hanging.”…

A blonde decides to try horseback riding even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It…

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached…

The doctor entered the room and advised his patient that a brain transplant was the only remedy. “Fortunately” he continued, “this hospital has perfected the procedure, however, it is not…

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night. Look at that moon!” The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “You…