A man goes to the doctor after feeling ill
A man goes to the doctor after feeling ill. The doctor says, “You know, you should have come to see me sooner. Unfortunately you have waited too long and you…
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A man was shopping in the men’s department
A man was shopping in the men’s department at Bloomingdale’s when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter. He went up to her and said, “Good morning,…
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A policeman pulls a man over for speeding
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice…
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Nursery school teacher says to her class
Nursery school teacher says to her class, “Who can use the word ‘Definitely’ in a sentence?” First a little girl says “The sky is definitely blue” Teacher says, “Sorry, Amy,…
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The judge asked the husband
A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple went…
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A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper
A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He’s slamming tequila left and right. He grabs one, drinks it, goes over to a…
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A woman took her dog to the vet
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, “I think my dog is dead”. The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a…
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A blonde phoned a retail pharmacy
A blonde phoned a retail pharmacy to talk about her prescription. He said to the pharmacist, “My doctor ordered this prescription for me. Your store filled it and gave me…
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Three guys are drinking in a bar
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your grandma’s the best lovemaking…
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Martin kissing his secretary
One fine morning Dean came early into the office and caught his subordinate, Martin kissing his secretary. Angered, Dean screamed: “Martin, do I pay you good salary for doing this?”…
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A 60-year-old man went to a doctor
A 60-year-old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, “You’re in terrific shape. There’s nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have…
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A man was watching TV and enjoying a beer
A man was watching TV and enjoying a beer. “Don’t go,” he yelled at the screen. “Do not enter that building. Walk away. Argh, you stupid man!” His wife called…
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A little boy asked his teacher
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so…
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A young blonde was on vacation
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the…
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A man went to his lawyer and said
A man went to his lawyer and said “I would like to make a will but I don’t know exactly how to go about it.” The lawyer says “No problem,…
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A little girl is sitting on her grandpa
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa’s lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then…
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Mary and Jane are old friends
Mary and Jane are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time; Mary is upset because she thinks her husband doesn’t find her attractive…
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A man and his wife have gone to bed
A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the man cuts a fart. His wife rolls over and asks, “What in…