Two men arrive at the Pearly Gates
Two men arrive at the Pearly Gates at about the same time, both wanting to know if they will be admitted to heaven. St. Peter asks the first man his…
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A nun gets into a cab
A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, ‘I have a question to…
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She went to the front door
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of…
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A doctor asks the barber
After receiving a beautiful haircut, a doctor asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?” “Oh, I never charge a doctor,” the barber replies. “You all do such good,…
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A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this the wife wants him to quit, so she gets 2 shot glasses, filling 1 with…
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He lurches through the door
A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. “Where the hell have…
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This woman rushed to see her doctor
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning,…
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Rebecca the curvy blonde secretary
Rebecca, the curvy blonde secretary, came out from the cabin of her boss. She was shaking with anger, so a colleague asked her what was wrong. Rebecca said, “The Boss…
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Three old men were sitting around
Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80 year-old said, “The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee….
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A old couple were sitting on the porch
An old couple were sitting on the porch one afternoon rocking in their rocking chairs. All the sudden the old man reaches over and slaps his wife. She says, “Well…
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Two Buddies were drinking in a bar
Two Buddies were drinking in a bar one night and had became extremely drunk. One guy was so drunk that he had got sick all over his shirt. He looks…
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Two buddies are fishing
Two buddies are fishing, but they haven’t caught anything all day. Then, another fisherman walks by with a huge load of fish. They ask him “excuse me, but where did…
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A man suffered a serious heart attack
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had bypass surgery. He awakened to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital. As he was recovering, a…
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A guy goes to the supermarket
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken a back because he can’t place where he knows her….
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A man traveling by train
A man traveling by train asks the ticket collector what time the train stops at Victoria. “Sir, we don’t stop at Victoria.” “But I have to get off there!” “Well,…
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A elderly couple visits their grandson
An elderly couple visits their grown-up grandson one night. While in the bathroom, Grandpa discovers a bottle of pills in his grandson’s medicine cupboard. “I don’t think you should take…
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A kindergarten teacher was observing
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork. As she got to one little girl who…
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She stops to admire the bird
A lady is walking down the street to work and see’s a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, “hey lady,…