A elderly gentleman was on his deathbed
An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by. Then he spoke: “Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses. “Mary, you…
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They get married and go their honeymoon
A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for…
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A man asked his doctor
A man asked his doctor if he thought he’d live to be a hundred. The doctor asked the man, “Do you smoke or drink?” “No,” he replied, “I’ve never done…
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A guy is stranded on a desert island
A guy is stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years. One day he sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.”…
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A burglar broke into a house
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly jumped…
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Two guys walking down the street talking
Two guys walking down the street talking. One says to the other, “I wish I had a million dollars.” The second guy says, “Oh, I’m working on my second million.”…
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A dentist after completing work on a patient
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient:…
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He asked his boss for two more weeks off
A guy had just returned from two weeks of vacation. He asked his boss for two more weeks off to get married. “What?” shouted the boss, “I can’t give you…
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A blonde is swimming in a river
A blonde is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks her, “What are you doing in there?” She says, “I’m washing my clothes.” The man asks, “Why…
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A man is sitting at the bar
A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him. “Lou,”…
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A blonde was with her husband shopping
A blonde was with her husband shopping and she decided that they would shop in different parts of the mall. They meet in the middle 2 hours later and she…
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A guy goes to see the doctor
A guy goes to see the doctor, because he’s a little too well-endowed. In fact, it’s 25 inches long and he can’t get any women to have lovemaking with him….
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A doctor at an insane asylum
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the…
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Two blondes walking down the street
Two blondes walking down the street. One reaches into her pocketbook for a make up compact and looks into the mirror. “This picture looks like someone I know” she says….
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A middle aged man goes into the doctor
A middle aged man goes into the doctor’s office for a check-up with a litany of complaints. The doctor speaks to the man’s wife alone and says, “There is nothing…
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She was in bed with her boyfriend
A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car…
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A 87 year-old man went to the doctor
An 87 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady…
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A girl walks into a grocery store
A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts. The guy says, “No, ma’am.” She says, “Well, do you have any dates?”…