A patient was waiting nervously
A patient was waiting nervously in the examination room of a famous specialist. “So who did you see before coming to me?” asked the doctor. “My General Practitioner.” “Your GP?”…
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A teacher asks the kids
A teacher asks the kids in her 5th grade class: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ Little Larry says: ‘I wanna start out as a Fighter…
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There are three girls at a bar
There are three girls at a bar, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde. They have a seat at the bar. The bar tender says, “If you go into…
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A older couple wakes up in the morning
An older couple wakes up in the morning and the husband looks over at his wife and says, “Wow! You wouldn’t believe the dream I had…” The wife replies, “Yes,…
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A lady goes in to take a tennis lesson
A lady goes in to take a tennis lesson, and the instructor notices she is using the wrong grip. After several failed attempts to correct her, he finally says “OK,…
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A man tells his wife
A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his…
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A aged woman sought help from her doctor
A middle aged woman sought help from her doctor. “All my husband does is complain that I never want to have lovemaking with him,” she said. “And he’s right too….
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A man and his wife were sitting
A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will” “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on…
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A man got really drunk one night
A man got really drunk one night in his local pub. The barman refused to serve him any more alcohol and told him he should be heading home. The man…
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A lady is having a bad day
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in ‘Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, “What rotten luck! What in the world should…
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A big city lawyer went duck hunting
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a…
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Two blondes were driving along
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned…
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A boss was complaining in a staff meeting
A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a…
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A woman was found guilty in traffic court
A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited…
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Hung Chow calls into work and says
Hung Chow calls into work and says, “Hey, boss I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomachache and my legs-hurt, I no come work.” The boss…
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A old couple was at home watching TV
An old married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the funny channel. The wife…
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A man goes to the doctor complaining
A man goes to the doctor complaining about stomach problems, and he asks him what he’s been eating. “I only eat pool balls,” he says. “Red ones for breakfast, orange…
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A woman goes to the local psychic
A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic’s eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the…