A blonde gets on an airplane
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class…
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Tom was getting a check up
At the doctor’s office, Tom was getting a check up. “I have good news and bad news,” says the doctor. “The good news is you have 24 hours left to…
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Three old ladies are sitting in a diner
Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of…
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A blonde and a redhead met in a bar
A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the…
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A man offers a girl in his office
A man offers a girl in his office $1,000 to sleep with him. “I’ll put the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be done by the time…
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A woman is walking on the road
A woman is walking on the road and a voice shouts out, “Don’t take a step further.” She obeys and suddenly a ton of bricks fall on the place where…
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A man walks into a bar and says
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye.” The bartender says, “Yeah, right! I’ve never…
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A farmer and his wife were lying in bed
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looks up from the page and…
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The angry wife met her husband
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good…
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Two women were playing golf
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next h*le. The ball hit one…
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A call from an anxious patient
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient. “I’m diabetic and I’m afraid I’ve had too much sugar today.” the caller said. “Are you light-headed?”…
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A woman sat down on a park bench
A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax. After awhile a beggar came up to her…
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A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist
A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked that was the problem, she responded, “Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my melons get hard.” Shocked, the doctor…
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A lady walks into the drug store
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks, “Ma’am, what do you want with arsenic?” The lady says, “To kill my…
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A man walked into work on Monday
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, “I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we…
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A blonde goes to the post office
A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps?” The clerk says, “What denomination?”…
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A blonde was driving down the road
A blonde was driving down the road and she looks up and she sees a tree so she swerves to the left. The tree is still front of her so…
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A man went to the doctor complaining
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination but found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him. “Listen,” the doctor said, “if you…