He picked up the phone
One morning the phone rang at 3:00 a.m. in Jeff’s house. He picked up the phone and a woman asked, “Is this 555-1111?” “No, this is 555-1112.” Jeff replied. “Oh,…
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A man went to the police station
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the…
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A older couple were walking on a beach
An older couple were walking on a beach when the husband tripped over a bottle and a genie came out. “You can each have one wish,” said the genie. The…
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A blonde went to the hospital
A blonde went to the hospital because her body hurt. She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt. The doctor told her to demonstrate. She…
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A woman takes her daughter to the doctor
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?” The mother says, “It’s my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on…
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A woman phones up her husband
A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat. HIM “I’m sorry dear but I’m up to my neck in work today.” HER “But I’ve got some good…
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The Policeman recently stopped a woman
The Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, “I’m Mrs. Ladislav khashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan…
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A college teacher reminds her class
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. ‘Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or…
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Two women came before wise King Solomon
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. “This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter,” said one. “No! He agreed…
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A polish man is sitting at a bar
A polish man is sitting at a bar having a few drinks when he notices a very attractive lady sit down at the other end of the bar and order…
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The phone rings and Joe answers
One day at home the phone rings and Joe answers it. On the other end is a confused woman who asks, “Who is this?” “This is Joe. With whom did…
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A blonde visiting her new doctor
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination….
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A husband and wife came for counselling
A husband and wife came for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into an angry tirade listing each and every problem…
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Three gentlemen are golfing
Three gentlemen are golfing one sunny day. They come to a difficult par with a water trap just after the tee. The first golfer proceeds to hit his ball right…
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A new monk arrived at the monastery
A new monk arrived at the monastery. He was assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He noticed, however, that they were copying copies,…
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A couple was at the mall
A couple was at the mall and his wife decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place…
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A middle-aged guy is out to dinner
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond…
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A very shy guy goes into a bar
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to…