Johnny was sitting on the bench
Little Johnny was sitting on the bench in the park. Suzie comes along chomping on her bubblegum. Suzie asked, “You wanna play doctor?” Johnny replied, “No, that too old fashioned….
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A woman went to the bar
A woman went to the bar with a black eye. “How’d ya get that?” asked the bartender. “From my husband,” she replied. “But I thought he was out of town?”…
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A business man from New York
A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another…
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A man was being interviewed for a job
A man was being interviewed for a job. “Were you in the service?” ask the interviewer. “Yes, I was a marine,” responded the applicant. “Did you see any active duty?”…
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A Irish man went to the courthouse
An Irish man went to the courthouse to change his name legally changed. When he replied, the desk clerk asked “Can I help you sir?” Our man said “Yes, I…
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A man walks into a bank and says
A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow $200 for six months. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says,…
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Two senior couples are walking along
Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back. Herb says to Sam, “Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal…
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A man had been drinking at the bar
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold,…
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A husband and his wife sitting
There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “Attention all!!” and farts loudly. The wife is…
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Harry answers the telephone
Harry answers the telephone, and it’s an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, “Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The…
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Three blondes are talking
Three blondes are talking about their boyfriends. “It’s funny,” says Samantha, “Peter’s balls are always cold as ice when I’m giving him a bl*wjob!” “You know what?” replies Jenny, “It’s…
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A guy comes home from the bar
A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He’s laying in…
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A man is walking along one day
A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder. Looking up, he sees that the ladder disappears into the clouds. Curious, he begins to climb. Before…
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A young boy asked his mother
A young boy asked his mother “Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?” “Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?” replied by his…
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A man and his wife go to their honeymoon
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband,…
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A man went to the Doctor
A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He goes home to tell his wife and after they both had…
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A woman goes to the doctor
A woman goes to the doctor with a black eye, and really looking rough. The doc says, “What happened?” The woman replies, “Every time my husband goes out and gets…
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A old sea captain with one wooden leg
An old sea captain with one wooden leg, one hook replacing a missing hand, and one missing eye goes into a bar. The sailor sitting next to him says, “You’re…