A school teacher used to take a short nap
A school teacher used to take a short nap every afternoon. When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient…
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A Scotsman was waiting for his son
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. “Were you worried, father?” “Yes, I was really worried… I…
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A man who had three girlfriends
There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of…
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A old man was on the beach
An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini, “I want to feel your fronts” he exclaimed. “Get away from me, you…
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He knocked on the door to clarify
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he…
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He rushed into a lawyer office
A Polish man had married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada for a year or so and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got…
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A blonde was summoned to court to appear
A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?” “Objection!” said…
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Three newlywed men were discussing
Three newlywed men were discussing their wives. The first guy married an Iowa gal; he says, I told my wife she had to all the cooking. The first day I…
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The woman sat up in bed and remarked
After making love, the man excused himself and went into the bathroom. When he returned, the woman sat up in bed and remarked, “I can tell you are a doctor…
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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A pretty, young, student nurse appears to give him a partial…
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A insurance company asked for more information
An insurance company asked for more information regarding a work-related accident claim This was the response: “I put ‘poor planning’ as the cause of my accident I am an amateur…
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A man and his wife are discussing
A man and his wife are discussing what they think their son will be when he grows up. “I have an idea,” says the father. He puts a ten-dollar bill,…
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He was in court filing for a divorce
Dan married a woman with an identical twin. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. “Tell the court why you want a divorce,” said…
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A salesman rings the door bell
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see…
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A woman and army general
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied “1956, ma’am.” The woman, in disbelief said “1956?! That long?…
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A newlywed couple go to change
On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “My…
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A older gentleman was on the operating
An older gentleman was on the operating table a waiting surgery, and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the…
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A man goes to the doctor and complains
A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife cant hear him. How bad is it? the doctor asks. I have no idea, the husband says. Well, please…