A man and a woman are having dinner
A man and a woman are having dinner in a restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away, spots that the man is slowly sliding…
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A blonde was walking her dogs
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says, “oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?” The blonde replies “Well,…
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One smart father goes to his son
This is Awesome, One smart father goes to his son. Father: “I want you to marry a girl of my choice” Son: “I will choose my own bride!” Father: “But…
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A man goes into a pet shop
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a monkey. The shop owner points to 3 identical looking monkeys on a perch and says the monkey on the left…
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How To Enjoy Sunday
Husband [:D] Darling, my sweet heart I will be enjoying this Sunday. Wife: How? Husband: I bought three tickets for the movie. Wife: thats great, but we are two, why…
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Three blondes are in an elevator
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even…
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A man is admitted to the hospital
A man is admitted to the hospital with chest pain. The cardiologist orders a battery of test over the course of a week. While studding the patient’s EKG he noticed…
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A married couple are driving along a highway
A married couple are driving along a highway doing 60mph, the wife behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married…
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The bride immediately called her mother
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, “How was the honeymoon?” “Oh, mama,” she…
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This guy walks into a quiet bar
This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has…
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A guy walks into a bar and sits down
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers… Like a telephone… On his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells…
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Lion King Of The Jungle
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?” The trembling…
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When she checked out next morning
A lady gives herself a treat for her 70th birthday A lady decided to give herself a treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in an expensive hotel. When…
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The wife complained a lot to her husband
The wife was very unhappy with her old car and complained a lot to her husband: Knowing her birthday was coming up shortly, she said to her husband… “Buy me…
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A woman awakes during the night
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds…
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A boy was walking down the street
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street,… When a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window. “I’ll give you a large bag of…
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A guy and his teenage daughter
A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers….
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Three friends had a very good friend
Three friends had a very good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say “It could have been worse.” His…